I liked Rusty's post yesterday, which inspired this drawing...
The thing about hipsters is that they're at least trying to be different from the mainstream. They're not at all succeeding, but they're putting forth a valiant effort. On the other hand, where I live, not all, but some people don't like readin' or usin' their "g"s much. At least hipsters are trying to be well read. Sort of.
Who am I?
Some people here have called me a hippy. I would be okay with that except I'm not even close to being a hippy, and there's no way hippies would think I'm a hippy. I'm not cool enough to be a hipster, because I understand that no one looks good in skinny jeans. I'm not rich enough to be a yuppy, and I'm too dark. I guess I'm a Generation X'er, whatever the heck that means?
The other night I went to a poetry reading and it was so nice. The poet was my age, and from the West Coast, like me. He talked about Oregon, and the logging town he was from. The audience adored him, but I felt strange. Here he was, in the heartland, rhapsodizing and reading about the wilds of the West to the delight of the audience.
But it was like being in a foreign country. You live there for a few years, pick up some of the customs, but remain an outsider, and long for home. One day, an American walks into your local bar. You know he imagines he is speaking to a crowd of only French people, and perceives you as French. The French people think you're American, the American thinks you are French, and your weirdness stands out on a daily basis, but his weirdness is temporary, exotic, entertaining. And then he goes home.
When I am home, I feel out of place too. You carry these experiences with you - living here, and there, and places you don't belong. And then when you go where you think you belong, you find you don't, because you're an outsider everywhere. Identity is a sonofabitch.
So where is home for me? In my hometown there is an independent video store where they might not even allow you to rent the movie you want because they want to save you from the mainstream, so you end up with art films and small budget foreign films when you went in for A Bug's Life.
It's really the yupsters I'd have to worry about, with their Lexuses (lexi?), chic wine collections, and Montessori kids. Actually, I kind of like those things, I just can't afford them. But if I move into the country I'd to have to start wearing long denim skirts with t-shirts and birkenstocks and eat only whole grains and drive a Subaru.
Who the heck am I? If I wasn't a teacher, who would I be? I'm not a mommy or a wife. I have no money and I'm not particularly cool. Who and what am I? We all think we're just a person. I'm just wondering what kind of bee I am in this beehive we call life.
What type of person are you? Do you ever wonder what type of person you are in other people's eyes?
95 comments:
I absolutely love how well-written this post is. I'm still trying to figure out what kind of bee I am...
All I know is I'm not a WASP.
Wait! Bumblebee, definitely:
Lives in a hole in the ground with very few others, threatens no one but freaks out everyone.
Noisy, clumsy, and people claim I shouldn't exist.
Can't make honey, can't join the hive.
Happier away from the crowds.
Avoids trouble, but stings repeatedly if cornered.
Yep.
I wonder this too, sometimes. I can't figure it out. I'm well read. I dislike gadgets. I'm not country. I'm not city. I hate suburbs. It's quite a quandary! Very eloquent and well put! You've given me a lot to think about!
Likewise I've wondered where I fit in the sceme of things. I like being the kind of bee that does my own thing, sometimes following the masses and sometimes being distracted along the way/seeking out my own path. Thanks for the insightful post. Well done.
Pish you are the bees knees! You are the golden elixer of laughter and sunshine. You are the hive leader that holds this group together. You are just like all of us other bees in this crazy topsy turvy world. We have our lives flying by faster then we care to see it when all we'd really like is the opportunity to stop and smell the roses. This is a very thought provoking post. Thank you!
"Do you ever wonder what type of person you are in other people's eyes?"
No, but Peter Gabriel does.
The light, the heat, I am complete.
Cindy! You need to get a twitter account so I can contact you - :) Plus it helps make friends with new people. Did you get any of my comments? I commented on your posts all week but they never showed up - hope all is well! :)
Thank you! I like doing my own thing too - but I'm not sure what that is sometimes, and I kind of wish I understood my identity more. Or maybe it's irrelevant. What do you think?
I'm well read but I like some gadgets. I would like to live in the country, but nobody would describe me as country. I have lived in all kinds of big cities across the world, and I can no longer stand it. I'm okay with the suburbs if it is a funky downtown kind of suburb. I just don't know what all this makes me. I don't feel like I have peers. And it's not just where I want to live - there are plenty of well read intelligent urbanites. But I don't want to live in the city. And there are plenty of well read intelligent suburbians, but usually the suburbs are for families, and I don't have one. So I don't know.
Maybe it's just that everyone annoys me ;)
Well I'm okay with bees. I know they won't sting me if I leave them alone. When other people are swatting them I just sit calmly and ignore them. Hang out with them sometimes :) So you're okay by me!
Thank you so much! And me too...
Check your spam filter?
Damn! What the hell?! It's going better this week. Not sure if it's because i turned my thinking on it's ear or because we had the break or because the bullies got tired...I don't really care why, I'll take it. I invited you to play draw something, I am addicted to that damn game. I loved your post about it. I laughed my ass off at some of the pictures. I just think you are awesome! I'll do the twitter thing...how do I do it? I don't think I can do it on my phone...is there another way?
Nope, not there! AAAA! Anyway, I "felt" you were with me all week, so it's good.
Okay, I signed up for Twitter...what now? I've never done it before. Of course I've heard of it, but never used it.
I'm just gonna consider myself awesomely awkward. Kinda cool kinda dorky. Perfect example: In high school I was a drama geek and a cool cheerleader. Still works to this day.
Dangit!! I wrote ike 5 comments. I wrote one today and it didn't show up either. Am I on your block list or something? ;) what the heck. Hmmm.
What is your twitter name? mine is thepishposh. Try to find me and follow me and we'll take it from there! That way I'll never lose you if my comments get lost!
I loved his. I never understood not fitting in until I moved out of the country for a while. I expected to not fit in there, but when I returned home, I had been in another culture long enough that the things at home seemed strange. I no longer fit in AT HOME.
It was a little depressing for a while.
Yea. And also like you now have a secret world that was broadened, that others can't see or understand or even know about. You know? Like their idea of you stays the same, even while you grow out of that. And to me that sort of makes me feel claustrophobic.
Better than the debate team eh? :) JUST KDDING NELL.
Well you are in your twenties - maybe it is because I am getting older, and approaching 40. A single woman without children at this age is sort of an anomaly.
No you aren't blocked...I mean it's not like you are a stalker or anything right?
Although 5 posts, nah. Anyway, I found you on Twitter and am following you...does that make me the stalker now? Damn! But I can't get the Twitter button to show up on my blog...this stuff drives me bat shit crazy. Why can't anything be simple?
Oh it's Cindy's Stamping Cafe by the way.
I really liked this post! I'm not sure what kind of bee I am. I'd definitely have a small peaceful hive consisting of a small group that I love and trust. And where I can just be myself...without necessarily having to define what 'myself' is. ;)
I link my happiness to who I am, maybe I am that lost bee you see with a bit of a broken wing, fluttering through life looking for his place.
I am the person in my skin. I've been through my whole life not really fitting in. Too smart or uncaring enough about applying that smart or too conservative or not conservative enough. Just enough to always make me a fringe person. The plus with this is that I got be on the fringe with a lot of people. I wasn't really "in" but I was close enough to associate when other people were not allowed. This made for a weird sort of accepted non-acceptance.
Anyway...
I just learned to live in my skin and not worry about the rest of that stuff.
Yep! Working on that! I'll tell you what though, the place where you live allows more comfortably for people who don't fit in, or for people to be themselves, than this place. And that is why I need to...
My hubby calls me hippy, I am to a point. But my identity comes wholly from Jesus Christ. I am his and I take all my cues from him.
http://leasenchantedcloth.blogspot.com
A-Z visitor here.
Thoroughly enjoyed this piece and quite unable to decide which bee I am.
Maybe you are the Queen!
Maybe we should have a lost bee colony?
See? Writer's commune. This is what we need! Also, I can be your pretend boyfriend if you want.
I'm a joker, a smoker, a midnight toker. I take my lovin' on the run.
You really love my peaches, wanna shake my tree?
I've been accused by many of being a hippie for one reason...I'm from Oregon...the west side of Oregon. Haha. While I do like trees and granola, I rather enjoy showers and jeans, so the term doesn't really fit. Another great, thoroughly entertaining post. And remember...put a bird on it!
Great blog. I'm glad I paid a visit.
We are all made up by the parts of our experiences, and not fitting in one group fully lets you sample more. Not blinded by a group mentality, you have seen.
You "fit in" here with the rest of us who don't "fit in" anywhere else.
I no longer fit in in my home town. They do not trust outsiders, and now that I have not lived there for 9 years, I am an outsider in the house I grew up in. Their world stops at the edge of town, they don't care for the flowers beyond.
And sometimes the scouting bees don't come back.
And I laughed at "Le sigh", don't knock it! :p
Ugh! I can't stand that mentality - where the world stops at the edge of town - that is like the town I live in now. Fffrraaack. It drives me crazy
Maybe that IS my group. You guys.
;)
I think it's important to point that out. The east side of Oregon is awfully different! I would be crunchy except I enjoy showers, jeans, and ... I don't know how to put it without being offensive lol, let's say a certain femininity or that I enjoy being able to go into businesses and feeling professional too.
People accuse me of being a hippy just because I'm from California. There are 40 million people in Cali. They really think they're all hippies? Also I'm sure you have a good laugh - I think we both know Oregon is definitely not just made up of crunchies - both states got a whole lotta other things, including rednecks. What is your blog address?
Thanks Fiona! Your link didn't work, can you post your blog address?
"labs would be stupid but upbeat - kind of like weather girls"
What a brilliant line!
Oh, you are independent. I have a friend who emigrated from the UK to NZ when she was 15. i think she feels the same. Isn't interesting that identity and place are so important to others - would it be important to you, if it wasn't to them? I think it probably would. Must be something about being human. I enjoyed your post. And always nice to hear a poet was appreciated! Liz http://www.lizbrownleepoet.com
PS, i included my blog address not because I'm a raving advertiser but because blogs seem to put me down as my shared blog with other poets, not my A-Z identity...
I'm an individualist. I like the clothes I wear because I like them. I use a new piece of tech because I need it. I fit in with people when I want to or need to, not because I think I'm less important if I don't.
So yeah, I live with that vague sense of never quite fitting in anywhere, because I really don't. And most of the time it doesn't bother me.
Hipsters aren't different, they may try reallllly hard to be, but they are painfully mainstream, 'I'm different, just like everybody else.'
And this?
"...because I understand no one looks good in skinny jeans."
Word.
But, um, I don't use my "g"s much. If it comes at the end of a word, I don't use them at all. Come on, Pishy, ain't you ever heard of the silent g? :)
And don't hate me, but I also say innit and dija. Terrible, I know, but it just comes out that way!
Do you realize how much that last guy with the red book in his hands look like Adam Savage??! :)
I can definitely relate to the feeling of not feeling at home or belong. I usually feel like that for some reason. Maybe that's a good thing, that you dare to be different?
Girl! Dont you know, the hipster is dead. I wrote a blog post about it, but rather than post it I just burned a pile of skinny jeans, stripedy T-shirts and hookas.
As one of your Northern Cal brethren, sadly I recognize a neighbor or two in that hilarious Is it local clip. Rest assured I have not yet slipped that far into the North Bay fog of hippie/hipster/yupsterdom. When I visit my sister in the suburbs of Chicago I feel as if I need my passport stamped. Your post moves us to consider our "spot" in life. What do we believe in? Nicely done. I enjoyed it.
I wondered for a long time who I was and where I belong. It wasn't until I stopped caring how other people saw me that I figured out where I should be and who I was. It's a very satisfying feeling to know that I am home.
Nice F post :)
Do check out my G at GAC a-z
Oh I know this feeling. (: Sounds way to familiar...
I hope we both find out someday... until then,
Blessings~*
I am in complete agreement! Sorry, I guess I forgot to attach my address. Here it is:
http://melinmidlothian.blogspot.com/
Hope you enjoy :)
Me too! Thanks!
Done!
True - and this is what my dad says. I just think it is easier to do somewhere people aren't so up in your business.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. Chicago has the most hipsters ever. Oh my god. I feel like an okey from muskogee compared to them.
No to be Jerry Seinfeld, but what is the DEAL with hookas?
Ha, the poet looked like Adam Savage!! I don't know if I dare, but I certainly am different :) I guess it is a good thing - I always find cool people, like you!
I don't think it's necessary to fit into a box or be labelled with some "distinctive features" in order to know who one is. Just be yourself in all the many wonderful ways and use all those manifold possibilities life gives you to become a little bit more the person you want to be. Being concerned about fitting in somewhere just makes you blind for most of the options ,´life hands you on a daily basis. Be home whereever you are, the world's the best playground anyhow ;) Just be. :)
*not mommy blog hop*
Word to the millionth power. Hipsters are completely mainstream and don't understand anything they talk about - they're completely a product of mainstream commercialism.
Well VV you are from Texas so it ain't all that surprisin' ;)
I say dija too and gonna, but you know that those aren't actually words - not sure the people I'm talking about know that.
Good!! We shouldn't care so much what people think. But it is a process of figuring out who you are.
Okay!
Thank you for your beautiful comment!! To me place is so totally enmeshed in my identity!!
Haha poor labs, sorry :)
I agree and thank you for visiting! It's just been hard lately when I feel people are PUTTING me into a type, you know? I'm in a bad situation right now and I think once I get out of it I will get out of feeling boxed in.
I don't mind hipsters too awfully much. I like a lot of the same music they tend to dig. However, I think that, in trying NOT to be mainstream, they have kind of become mainstream.. which has kind of defeated the purpose. I think the people who TRY to be hipsters (or any other category) should just stop. Like what you like. Be who you are. Wow, I'm sounding like a walking cliche right now. But really.
Also, I am surrounded by what you call "yupsters," even though I've never heard that term. They are, typically, buttholes.
Loved this. Truly fabulous post, Pish! I moved from Chicago to Portland just over a decade ago. Talk about culture shock! Yikes. I love Portland for its weirdness--it's a wildly eclectic place to live. Takes some getting used to though. LOL
One of the happiest things I've managed to accomplish is reaching a point where I no longer worry about what type of person I am or how others see me. Lord knows this didn't happen overnight--it took decades. Today I'm just simply, unapologetically me, which means I've learned to embrace my inner craziness and even celebrate it (hello blog! LOL). I've never really fit in with any particular group (no matter how hard I tried when I was younger). It's so liberating not to have to worry about being accepted or being good enough. Life is too short to live it full of self-doubt. :)
I totally get you. I've moved around from small town to big city to different country. I think the hardest is not fitting in when I go home to the small town I grew up in. It's like everything there is still the same as when I left, but I'm so different now. And I've never had my hands in so many boxes (doh!) as when I became a mother. I just can't fit into any one, two, three or four parenting stereotypes.
Stay you, whoever you may be, for now. You can always change as the winds blow - I think it's actually better that way :)
First off LOVE Portlandia.
Love hippies.
Love hipsters too.
Loved this post. (-:
People are gonna judge. People like to figure each other out and slap a label on them. In some ways, grown-ups are no better than seventh-graders, but be who you be. Do what you do. Everyone will think YOU have it all figured out and aren't like the rest of us clueless people. Erin
I just figure I'm uniquely me and avoid the existential questions! :)
Hmm....interesting. I guess I try not to think about what I am to other people... I either don't care, or don't want to know. Not sure which.
If you don't care, you're lucky and wise!
Sounds like a good idea!
Haters gon hate!
That's true, we're all a bit clueless I suppose. I seem to be surrounded by judgmental people who seem to think they have it all figured out though. I should just not even pay them mind though, huh?
Aw, thanks!
Yes thank you for that wonderful comment. I have always felt very adaptable - and perhaps that is why I am restless and feel alienated sometimes, because what is the real me? I just adapt to wherever I am.
Oh thank you so much for this wonderful comment, Susan! You're absolutely me. I just want to work on living in a place - literally and in my head - where I am me, with no apologies, and no worries about it. Life is too short, you're completely right!
Oh absolutely and "buttholes" is a great word for them!! ;)
I've been called a bitch and I believe that is a category of person all on its own. I like it.
LOL - I love those clips of Portlandia! That show is so funny, the "Is the chicken local" so reminds me of Seattle. I grew up in Washington state but moved almost 20 years and now live in the mid west. Talk about culture shock! I love going back home but I understand the feeling of not quite belonging as well. I agree with you, we are all just people. Very funny post!
Hahaha! We live technically in the 'burbs I guess, but more waterfront small town just outside of Seattle. Anyway, we went into Seattle proper on Saturday morning to a little breakfast shop and totally hipster-watched.
Buzzing Bee on a great blog! I giggled at "no one looks good in skinny jeans." won't lie. And boy do I understand the bee question! Remember meeting me last week and I was like ah... what do I blog about? Yeah well, what do we buzz about? How about just buzzing for buzzing's sake?
And you're a teacher too? My blog love just increased a notch.
I can definitely relate! When I stopped teaching (public school), I had a minor identity crisis. It was such a big part of ME. And I'm definitely not cool enough to be a hippy. Ha!
I always want to know what people think of me but I know if I ask they will think I'm needy. Which I am. But I don't want them to know. Great post!
outside of the hipster/skinny jean comments, you hit on something i spend a lot of time thinking about, which is: what is home? i've been gone from mine for almost eight years (two of those spent out of the country) and i still identify so strongly as a texan that i unconsciously aswer texas when people ask where i'm from (I live in nc). if i went back, i'm sure i would love it - but i wouldn't fit the same way i used to because i'm not the same person i was as when i left. great post, thanks!
Recently my new friend said, "That explains a lot about what I know about you" when she found out what my old 'job' was. I was floored. I don't even consider myself what she saw. So am I that? Is she more intune or has she just not had a chance to really know me yet?
Oh I definitely say California when people ask where my home is :) Moving around is so disorienting, and fitting into each culture, and keeping all your types of friends straight, and mixing them together, can be confusing!
Thanks Michelle! I don't want to know what people think of me because I just assume they don't understand me. But I want to know myself who the heck I am!
Hahaha those cool hippies. In Cali I definitely know what you mean. Everyone is SOOOO this and sooo that. But a lot of people are just also regular old whatever the heys. :)
Yep, I teach college! Buzzing for buzz's sake is a-ok with me as long as no one is wearing skinny jeans.
How is your fitness coming?
See I think hipster-watching is fun if you have a partner in crime who sees the irony, and their lack of it. But when you're in a hipster swarm and you're the only unhip hipster dip, it's awkward.
Yes it is Seattle like, but I think probably not as intense as Portland!! :) I too live in the midwest and it is such a huge culture shock - I've lived in the midwest for 12 years and it isn't really getting easier for me!
To your face or behind your back? I've gotten a lot of that behind my back!
Oh boy. The American thinks you're French...etc. Good stuff. I went to your about me section and to FB to try to figure out where in the Midwest you are writing from, couldn't find any info, felt like a stalker, and now I just feel weird. I do not know what kind of person I am to others, but to me I'm just a kid born in the wrong part of the world at the right time. Gen X suits me just fine although I've never worn flannel and never really understood why a work of fiction has defined a generation. I mean a real war defined the Baby-Boomers. I don't know where I'm going with this but just wanted you to know that here, at the Pish-Posh space, I feel right at home.
Post a Comment