I'm going to tell you a little about Hypothetical Heather and some of the twits who "know her" (not biblically or anything), on Twitter, who are winners all around! You see, "Heather" is every woman, the worst and the best of us. She is a hypothetical woman made up during a conversation about commas....*
Sarcasm Goddess:
If there is a name in the middle of a sentence "Thanks Heather for washing my window" where does the comma go?
Pish Posh:
All depends on the context. Heather went to the mall with Debbie to buy a top. Or... Heather went to the mall with her stepmom, Debbie, to buy a top.
Sarcasm Goddess:
Ohhh. It's bad to have a name in the middle of the sentence?
Pish Posh:
No. Thanks, Heather, for washing my windows. But it should really be Heather, thanks for washing my windows.
Sharayah Pranger:
What about "Thanks for washing my windows, Heather." ....or "It's time for a career change, Heather."
Pish Posh:
Thanks for breaking the copy machine, Heather. Thanks for stealing my thunder, Heather.
Sarcasm Goddess:
Thanks for nothing, Heather. You crazy whore.
Chicktuition:
Why are you being mean to Heather?
Sarcasm Goddess:
She's the unfortunate victim of a grammar lesson. Also? She's a whore.
Pish Posh:
Sorry, Heather, for calling you a whore. We shouldn't have done that, Heather.
Sarcasm Goddess
Even though it's true, Heather.
Sharayah Pranger:
Heather has, among other things, poor grammar.
Pish Posh:
Oh Heather, why must you be such a megabitch? You gotta stop doing that, Heather!
Sarcasm Goddess:
You'll never believe what that bitch, Heather, did today. Heather made my house a total mess then forced me to eat a whole bag of chips.
Pish Posh:
Heather made me stay up late drinking wine and eating chocolate! Thanks, Heather.
Sarcasm Goddess:
What a bitch!
The Bearded Iris:
I heard that Heather smells. Sometimes she makes me drink too much. I kinda like her.
Sarcasm Goddess:
She smells the worst! Heather made me drink last night. Sometimes I don't hate her.
The Bearded Iris:
I like this game. I'm keeping Heather. I need her in my house to blame for my farts and stuff.
Pish Posh:
That's fine. Heather made me squishy and pot bellied with her drinking and cheese eating. Thanks, Heather.
Sarcasm Goddess:
Heather made me have hairy legs for weeks when she stole my razor. My husband really doesn't like Heather.
Pish Posh:
Heather is such an unsexy lady. She loves fat pants and pajamas. Careful, she will take you down with her.
And this is what happens when women drink wine...
What has Heather done to you lately?
On another note, Sarcasm Goddess bestowed a little shout-out award/meme on me!
 |
| It's an Oscar, except not, but sort of. And Heather got jealous. |
and the Tell Me About Yourself goes to..
Tell Me About Yourself Award Winners
Cowardly Feminist
Simian Idiot
Good Girl Gone Redneck
Flourish in Progress
Linus & Bubba
The Bearded Iris
I Have Issues
Sarcasm in Action
Not Just a Baker
Reading and Chickens
Creative Devolution
Adventures in Estrogen
Cannibalistic Nerd
A Bozo's Abozzo
Logy Express
Tangerine Monday
Winners - tell us 7 things about yourself, list some bloggers your read, link back to this blog, and have a lovely weekend!! It's an award and a token of appreciation for all that you do - and to remind you that we love reading you!!
Thanks Sarcasm Goddess!
*and Transformed Non-Conformist
39 comments:
I am glad you said she was hypothetical at the end. I kep going back to the beginning to try to figure out who Heather was. I was lost.
Heather sounds like my kind of woman...
True - okay I fixed it AND gave you props + a link. GUESS WHO'S ROLLING NOW?
(You).
Dang there are so many links in that post its crazy. Weekend silliness I suppose.
Now it says hypothetical at the beginning. I am guessing that was not there before. Of course, I noticed it before I saw your comment reply here at the bottom saying that you fixed it. That would make me assume that my guess is correct. This whole post has given me a headache.
Heather is a boozy slut, that is for sure. There is no question about that. She is a jacked up mormon-baptist-witness with a mean streak, but the thing is she doesn't shave her legs and she wears fat pants.
See what a bitch Heather is? She gives people headaches.
I don't like her.
She likes you though. She gave you a link. But I understand. She doesn't wonder if you're a homicidal maniac though.
I may have to reconsider, but she did not leave a good first impression. The link was appreciated.
I, admit, to, being, a, little, confused, by, Heather,... but did appreciate the grammar lesson.
Now, very clearly and explicitly, as though you were talking to a child, please explain what I'm supposed to do? lol Thanks!
But there are cases when the comma is not required. Let's say Heather is one of 7 sisters, if I wanted to say, "I went to the mall with my sister Heather," the comma would not be required, because you would be specifying which sister. However, if Heather was the only other sister, it would be, "I went to the mall with my sister, Heather," because, in that case, the "Heather" is not required. Because it's optional, it needs the comma.
Just to make the point, because no one used that example.
Oh, and that's "oh, Heather, why..." up there.
And I'll respond to your other comment in a bit... or in the morning.
Haha. Oh yes, I will try to answer this late Friday night. Good luck!
First, consider yourself awesome. Second, pat yourself on the back. Three, think nice thoughts. Now - copy the "award" and paste it in a post, share 7 things about yourself (that aren't too private) and list a handful of blogs you like to read! (and if you like mention that I gave it to you - or not).
~ Share 7 things about yourself;
~ Pass the award along to 15 bloggers you love reading;
~ Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award!
Also - know that your blogs are read and appreciated!
As are your funny comments!! :)
Here is how Sarcasm Goddess did it since I didn't do it right - http://4theluvofwriting.blogspot.com/2012/02/its-like-oscars-but-better.html
Anyway, don't worry, just have fun and do whatever you like :)
Did you just make a mathematical statistics problem out of Heather's family life?
If Heather has 7 sisters and she leaves Cleveland on an Eastbound train going 45mph at 2:15 and travels to meet 3 of her sisters in Philadelphia who are traveling from New York, Boston, and DC, while the other 3 are flying in from Chicago....
Oh Heather, I think it's Oh Heather not oh, Heather, why. Why? Because it is rather flexible in this area. As is the listing - Oxford comma has just assassinated itself and I don't care. I will still continue to use the Oxford comma on a boat, in a house, and on a moat.
*SIGH* you need a beverage Strangepegs :)
And yea about the first part - that's true but too much to tweet ;)
I cannot even tell you how much I love this. Thanks, Heather, for making me laugh...even though you are a whore.
You shouldn't. Heather is evil. But sometime she's nice. Uh oh. I started a sentence with a conjunction. Heather is going to be pissed. Is conjunction the right word? I forget. Grammar is hard. I really hope I didn't just embarrass myself. I blame Heather.
wow..... i have the sudden urge to start drinking wine.... LOL
Holy bag o' fun! This is hilarious! I had no idea who Heather was when I stuck my big schnoz into your conversation. This just makes me love Twitter even more. Thank you for letting me play your Heather game and for wanting to know more about me, although I'm pretty sure you and all your readers already know that I'm a flatulent, catty, alcoholic. So, only 4 more things about me to reveal? Cool...
I'm confused, but I think I'm honored? I'm not big on chain posts, but I do appreciate the mention...I think? ;)
Ha! Just keep pushing yourself to find your authentic voice - it encourages me and so many others to do so too.
Ha hope that was okay to share - I just thought it was too funny. And I may or may not have been drinking wine... just wanted to give you a shout-out and link to your blog :)
haha DO IT :)
She's a funny beezy!
Thanks for the mention! Heather is a very busy fake lady.
Thank you! (I'm confused about Heather!)
This was fun. I like Heather, but I really liked Sarcasm Goddess! I'm terrible at grammar. Always have been. See, I just proved my case:~) You made me laugh in this post:~)
We're all confused about Heather :)
Sarcasm Goddess is pretty funny it is true!
How did you like that poor grammar of mine?
She's like Santa Claus and Master Card - everywhere at once.
Yeah, I probably do. Need a beverage.
:P
I have a post on commas sitting around being not all the way written, yet. I'm all for the Oxford comma, and I hate the current attitude about commas and punctuation.
You know the one I'm talking about. The one that says punctuation is subjective and doesn't need any rules.
It's just sloppy writing with an excuse.
Yes my students frequently say that commas go wherever they hear a pause in their sentences - and they get seriously irritated with me when I tell them that's not true. They want to be able to put commas wherever they want, for, dramatic, effect. ;)
Yeah, and it's not just students, either. I've spoken with "professional" editors with that same attitude. Leave them out, put them in... whatever feels good.
My award post is up :-)
Hahah this is great. Heather makes me buy cookies when I don't want to.
Dammit! Heather just made me eat a candy bear. Thanks alot, HEATHER!!
Can't wait to read it! :)
Thanks for picking me! I don't want to do too many personal posts since my blog is mostly about books and reading, but I truly appreciate the mention and will check out some of the other blogs that got a shout out! :)
No biggie! Just celebrating some great blogs :)
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