What is the worst smell in the world?
Burnt plastic? Rotting flesh? Moldy broccoli? Vomit? Vomit mixed with ammonia? Gym socks? A slaughterhouse? A house full of cat piss?
Perhaps. But a top-contender has to be someone who just plain doesn't care. The person who has reached a point in their lives where their aroma, their odor, their scent du jour, became an armament against a world perceived as hostile. Fuck it, their stench said. I'll stink if I want to.
Even in German that just seems wrong...
Other students confessed that they told this student in the nicest way possible that he smelled a bit rank. Still, el stinko did nothing. Nothing!
Here's the thing about stink. It lingers. It lingers on fabrics, in the room, and it lingers on you. It's an aggressive act to stink: I stink and now you will too... muahahahaha... I'm not talking about smelling ripe once or even twice, or a being just little stinky. I mean the only way to describe this smell is refried poop sweat with a side of vinegar piss.
Wayyyy worse than 3 year old Chinese food..
What do you do when you work with someone who smells like sauerkraut and bat-lard? Should I say something? What do I do?
I want to support this person, and be a kind person to them. But seriously, he is the Mayor of Stinkville.
What is your worst smell experience?
48 comments:
Sweaty wet hockey gear is the worst.
Also, that kid sounds like his home life probably sucks :(
I don't even know what to say. I'm pretty sure I haven't encountered the smells you describe...especially coming from a human. What DO you do?
I know I totally feel bad for him. If it makes you feel better (or worse?) he's a middle aged man, not a kid.
When I played soccer I weirdly liked the horrific smell of the soccer players. Omg under our shinguards.. Jeebus. I don't mean I liked it liked it, but it showed me I played hard. So I can tolerate some stench.
BUT THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!
For some reason that does make me feel better, although it probably shouldn't.
I worked at a cellular company who gave the responsibility to HR. Bad hygiene fell under their jurisdiction.
At that same company, I had a regular customer who stunk so bad his stench haunted the store for a few days after he would leave. It was so bad, it burned my throat while I was waiting on him. Since he was a customer, we could not say anything.
I have a bottle of room freshener spray in my office. I always spray the perimeter...
Perfume on my nostrils, room spray, hold my breath, cover my nose, breath through my mouth, and then I light myself on fire to purify.
I dated (for a very short time) a guy that smelled. And I know he showered and wore clean clothes. But he just smelled really bad. Not like bad breath or farts, or armpit...something truly alien. Poor guy; he was only 21 and I couldn't get close to him.
You are the professional and you reserve the right to refuse helping him if it makes you so sick. He has to know it is an issue because other students have told him. I'd take him aside (while holding your breath) and confront him about it...gently but firmly. He needs to realize that his smell is so offensive that his lack of caring is simply rude and disrespectful. I'd kick him out of the class or offer an independent study option if he refuses to freshen up.
cant you have a sit down with the parents? If this kids hygiene is distrupting other students, and causing a situation where they complain or could be accused of bullying him, I would think the school needs to do something. At the very least the school needs to alert the parents that the kid has received notes from classmates about the hygiene issues. Take the "I am trying to help your kid, not be bullied" approach!
Ahhhh ughhhhh. I had a teacher with HORRIBLE bo. And of course the worse they smell, the more they encroach on your personal space. It's science.
I think I breathed on my students in class the other day with chili breath. I said sorry though. There was a chili contest that day in the lobby. Payback's a bitch.
What I don't think you understand is that the man is in his 40s (the other man is in his 30s) and is in college. While it would be awesome to call his mom and say look your son is stinky, I don't think it would work ;)
Pheremones are 80% of physical attraction! It's important!
I did not get that memo! well, fuck. Isnt there anything in the school handbook about hygiene? You should approcah this like he's an ADA issue. ask if he has any helth issues that cause unusual hygiene habits or smells. if not, hand him a copy of the student handbook with the "you faulking smell asshole" page highlighted and let him know that there have been complaints and you'll have to remove him from the class room if he can't find a shower. THEN he will tell you he recently lost his home and has been living out of his car, down by the river eating government cheese, and you can feel incredibly bad!
This guy knows he smells. He has been told by other people already. You reserve the right to tell him that you will not work with him unless he cleans up first. You are the professor and are in control of his grade. You've got to be blunt. If he refuses to accommodate you by WASHING, then offer him an independent study/correspondence option for the rest of the course.
Yeah, we're putting cover sheets on all the TPS reports now...
I already do feel incredibly bad. I just needed to vent here because the smell is so godawful I can't bear it. I've talked to him, smiling, and being supportive and professional, with tears welling up in my eyes from trying to seem like the stench isn't bothering me. I have a very sensitive schnoz.
Omg that would be more time with him. I'll ask the other teachers how they put up with it because they mentioned it too. One says that he smokes a lot before class so that he only smells his own tobacco smell. Grosssss!
I'm just going to invest in Glade Plug Ins and mass Body Spray.
Maybe I should quietly give him some Axe body spray and then his stench will bring all the milkshakes to the yard
I can't get Bat-lard out of my head. So ... thanks again.
Haha I was free associating :)
I was going to ask if he smokes. I smelled a homeless man who was buying cat food at KMart one time. Oh dear lord I wanted to puke. I thought of him as you were describing this guy. I know the smell of which you heave.
You shouldn't have to put up with it. Be honest with him.
I will be honest but I think I need to make more of a connection with him first as a teacher. That's my job, teaching him first. It is just so difficult because this smell is so strong it almost causes that physical reaction, dry heaving, which is INVOLUNTARY. You know?
You definitely just coined Febrezing. I support playfulness with language. Coin away... do you know where that phrase comes from by the way? to "coin"..
It isn't vaseline is it? I think it is some sort of menthol ointment with camphor - like Vicks Vapo Rub?
Trust me, vaseline isn't going to do diddly about this. I put chapstick on every five minutes already.
Anyway, febrezing will do as long as it works for the time needed - I'd rather spray Axe all over the place than hurt his feelings.
Yes! Vicks is right! Mentholated grease beats bat-lard!
Good luck with whichever option.
Oh god. It's come down to this. The Great Mentholated Grease vs Bat Lard Debate of 2012. How to fight Stinky McStinkerton with ointment.
As a teacher that has to be a difficult topic to broach. How old is this guy?
Do not use your favorite perfume in your nostrils to kill the stench. It won't work and will forever ruin your love of said scent! He is most like in the first stage of zombiehood...you are going to probably have to kill him. For the good of the world, of course.
I'm guessing that he's in his 40s. I know he is struggling with a lot of things right now, and I know that going back to college is a big deal. So I don't want to ruin that for him. But jeebus man TAKE A SHOWER
I was afraid of that Jeane!! hahaha
He is a large man, so this is going to be hard to do!
I have the solution Pish. You say you are dedicated to your job as a teacher? Well here is a chance to do a good thing. Yes, you are going to have sex with him. I know, I know..seems a bit extreme. But you can make him shower before and after and voila! You have made the world, (at least your classroom) a fresher place! No egos hurt, and he probably will give you a good teacher review. Just sayin'
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!!
YOU'RE FIRED!!
Anyway I already gave him your number.
I totally just voted you off the island.
Sounds like this guy is seriously depressed. In addition to gently recommending he see someone [perhaps the campus offers services like this], you could explain to him that his current lack of ablutions really pushes you away...and you are wondering why he wants you to go away as you really want to help him.
That's a great insight Granny K! And yes that's my motivation in writing this. Its humorous because we've all been in this situation. But its also hard because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. He is getting counseling I do know that - so I think its just a matter of me learning to deal with it right now.
That's a really difficult situation to be in. If he's doing the counseling through the school, you might want to talk to them before you talk to him. If it is depression, you never know what one little thing might push someone over the edge.
Or, you know, possibly wear a face mask and make up some reason why you have to have it.
I was involved in picking up a hitchhiker once (long story), and we couldn't get the smell out of the car afterwards. We could smell him for weeks and weeks after.
I had to come back to this post because my sense of smell is so strong it can ruin something for me forever, and I was about to eat and didn't want my appetite ruined.
I am so, so sorry. Foul odors are not something I can deal with. Having someone so rank they make you dry heave? That's beyond bad. Is this a student? If so how did his parents let him out the door, and if they did, is something going on at home? I know you probably thought of all that, and therefore are trying to be nice and helpful. Ugh, I wouldn't know how to approach it either!
Oh me too! You don't even know! I can tell if someone's eaten peanut butter or bananas in 24 hours. Or had hard alcohol or coffee or cigarettes. My sniffer is so sensitive. I just get a side job as a bloodhound.
So you can understand! I literally dry heaved :(
"should" not just.
Yes! Another blogger, LA Juice just bejewelled a gas mask for fun. (of course it was for fun I don't know why I felt I had to point that out). Maybe I will ask her if I can borrow it.
I'll just say I have a cold and need to wear a gas mask. Problem solved.
OMG. I was on the wrestling team in high school. Do I need to say more? I used to have to wrestle with this guy who....all I can say is he did shower every day and used deodorant, but I think the rest of his body just exuded armpit stench. That oniony kind of armpit smell that makes caged apes decapitate each other from pheromone overload.
I had to wrestle with him every. Single. Day. For two seasons.
Well, we didn't practice on Sunday, so it wasn't every day. But you get my meaning.
And I couldn't even really SAY anything, because like I said, he showered every day and he used deodorant, so for some reason even my teenager give-a-shit attitude made me feel sorry for the guy and just grin and bear it.
The gross part? I would shower after practice, go home, sit down to eat, and realize that the smell of the soap I'd used had worn off, only to be replaced by Mr. Stench.
I started washing my hands with lemon juice and onions.
No wonder I never got laid back then.
That's the worse thing! How the smell lingers like it's seeped into your skin! Their stink smells become your stink cells.
B.O. is by far the worst of all the worst smells. I once boarded a sunset cruise and behind me sat an entire family of rotting ass. How I did not throw myself overboard and feed myself to the sharks, I do not know. You should go to jail for smelling that bad. I should probably be more sensitive about the whole thing, but I swear some of them do it on purpose.
I don't know if its me, or if its you, or if its the wine, or the day I've had, but I have a really bizarre visual in my head of what "an entire family of rotting ass" looks like but I can't describe it. I sure as shit know what it smells like.
I think some of them do it on purpose yes, like a sort of "f-u" armor.
Ewwww! That is terrible! People have no shame!
OMG, I used to teach ESL, and the students from other countries whose culture it was not to bathe regularly smelled so bad, I almost lost my lunch numerous times. Plus, I was preggo at the time, and everything smelled like rotting meat at the grocery store fish counter.
Argh how awful!! My schnozz is very sensitive to smell so I just imagine that when I'm pregnant I'm going to either be yakking or struggling almost all of the time.
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