Nothing drives a woman crazier than a man doing nothing.
Do you agree?
Ah go on. Admit it. There's so much to do and he's just sitting there.
Women are better at multitasking than men. After numerous psychological and neurological studies, this is fairly well accepted in the scientific community. But are men and women only different in multitasking because their brains are different, or also because they have to be?
Sir Ken Robinson, author of The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything and speaker at the TED talks series said this, that intelligence is dynamic. Creativity comes about through interaction between interdisciplinary parts.
- Intelligence is diverse. It is visual, sound, kinesthetic, abstract, etc.
- Intelligence is dynamic. It isn't divided into parts. It is interactive.
- Intelligence is distinct.
Robinson gives the example of his wife being on the phone, cooking a meal, talking to the kids, painting the ceiling, doing open heart surgery, etc. If he is cooking, the door is shut, the kids are out of the room, the phone is off the hook and if his wife disturbs him he gets annoyed and says Terry please! I'm trying to fry an egg in here!
I suppose he looks at it differently and with more appreciation than Mark Unger who teases the complex mind of a woman..
I find Unger a bit insulting, although I don't think he means to be, about the complexities of the female mind. But I don't think he's wrong about men's ability to compartmentalize.
Men seem to be able to tune out the world, nap, sit still, in ways that I can't imagine. And here's what really hurts my head, they not only do nothing, they can think about nothing!!
What's the best thing in the world to do on a day off?
No it isn't laying in a field of puppies or getting a full body massage or even a Puppy Christmas, although those are close.
The BEST thing in the WORLD to do on a DAY OFF is...
Doing NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guess what I'm doing today?
NOTHING!!!!!!!!
For women I think the idea of doing nothing is just that. It's the idea of doing nothing, rather than actually doing nothing, that seems to be delightful. It's like winning the lottery or a trip to Jamaica. You hope someday it will happen but you know its unlikely.
Today I'm going to do nothing. I usually work 12 hour days and then a few more from home, and I work 7 days a week. It's how teachers roll. But today, my friends, I do NOTHING!!
My grades are submitted, my committee meeting was cancelled, we had a blizzard and there's a half foot of snow on the ground, and I may or may not have the flu.
All of these things are my way of saying the time has come for me to do... NOTHING!!!!!!!! (pretend like you hear a crowd cheering here) Hooray for nothing!!
Here's the thing though. The genders will interpret this differently. Ladies. LADIES. You know what I mean.
Here is a man doing NOTHING:
He sits on the couch. He does nothing. He may or may not be in a waking coma. He thinks nothing. He says nothing. He does NOTHING.
His mind is an empty box of NOTHING!! WTF?!!
Doesn't this just drive you bonkers?
Here is my idea of doing NOTHING. This is what I've done so far in the first hour of nothing, even though I don't feel good:
I sit at my computer. I file my nails, browse the internet, read a few stories, make a few lists. Consider whether or not I should write an article for work or a short story and see if I'm any good at it. I wonder what Sweden's like. I should buy a camera. Let's look at some photography sites. I feel my chubby stomach fold over my pants. Should I go to the gym? Maybe I can do a few crunches before the shower. I should take a shower. I'll do the laundry first. That reminds me I should wash the dishes. Oh I should probably sweep and mop and clean up a bit. I need a new shower curtain. Look at the snow. I should call my mom. Let me look at a few websites for custodial care. I wonder what's on Facebook. Oh haha my silly friends. Oh god. I'll never be a writer. Is my stomach fat? I'm hungry. I don't have any crackers. Is it wrong to just eat cheese? Maybe I should vacuum. I feel bad for not playing with the cats more. Okay I'll cut Baby's nails. I really want to read that book on my nightstand. I should lay down and read it. Should I go to the library and get a bunch of books to read on my nothing day? No too snowy. I should change the laundry. Time for a sandwich? I think so. Fuck, I'm bored. Let me text a friend. I think she's getting sick of me. Okay let me read some political stuff. Okay now I hate everybody. I'll go read my book. Wait, I need to feed the cats again. I think I'll just watch a movie. That's really indulgent. Then I'm really doing nothing. Okay I will just bring my iPad in in case I get bored during the movie. And also my notepad in case I think of anything. Did I check the mail? Oh fuck I didn't send Christmas cards. I didn't send gifts either. I'm kind of a loser. Check my calendar. Enter: "send people gifts." Fuck now I have to go to the store. No this is my nothing day. Okay watch a movie time. Wait let's have popcorn. I should probably take a shower first. Then I'll be super snuggly and ready for my nothing time. Let me just do some crunches. Oh I didn't put the laundry away let me do that. That mirror needs cleaning. Okay let me just clean the house. Then I'll be clean, showered, the house will be clean. Then I'll be ready to start my nothing day. Yay! Oh wait, I better check my email for work. Just so I don't feel guilty. Oh fuck. Now I'm stressed out.
8 hours later I've done nothing, not really, but somehow I'm completely exhausted. It's like I can't indulge myself in doing nothing. Women, I think, know none of this stuff is going to get done if she doesn't do it. I think men either don't care or assume someone will do it, meaning the woman.
Working women with families (and less than awesome husbands) often have double workdays. They, like their husband, work all day. But when their husband comes home it is his time to go in his cave or relax. When a woman comes home it can be just the start of another shift. Children, cooking, cleaning, etc. Even without children, some working women may simultaneously enjoy but also feel obligated to do the cooking and cleaning so that they feel like an "ideal woman."
It certainly has been ingrained in them if you grow up with a traditional and immigrant mother figure like I did. When I got my PhD my mother asked me what I was going to do now. I asked her what she meant and she said well are you going to settle down now and stay home and raise babies? Have you met someone? She really thought that my PhD was a little indulgence on my part, just an extended college degree before settling down with a stay-at-home career.
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach she said. And so, I'm a good cook. Also because I love food. I know this sounds awful, but it seems to be true. Men feel loved when women cook for them and cook well. But you know what? Damn if I don't feel loved myself when a man cooks for me.
But can I feel loveable if I do nothing? That, my friends, is a whole different ballgame. Do I work hard all day and come home and cook and clean because I am expected to? Yes. Do I also do it because I feel like I should do it? Yes. But isn't it really my choice? YES. The problem is I don't know how to do nothing. And that's nobody's problem but mine.
But can I feel loveable if I do nothing? That, my friends, is a whole different ballgame. Do I work hard all day and come home and cook and clean because I am expected to? Yes. Do I also do it because I feel like I should do it? Yes. But isn't it really my choice? YES. The problem is I don't know how to do nothing. And that's nobody's problem but mine.
Certainly our brains are somewhat different, men and women's. But different enough to explain all this? Or do women multitask better not only because they can, but also because they have to?
I think its because of this that men and women are different in terms of intimacy. Here's the switch to turn a man or woman on:
Well Jesus Christ! She has a lot of shit to do! Everything is intertwined! Everything is related!
But women do make things more complicated than they need to be, as humorist Dave Barry shows us. A man and woman talk about a relationship, and a woman hears all her doubts and insecurities and fear of boundaries and a man thinks about gas mileage and mechanics.
But women do make things more complicated than they need to be, as humorist Dave Barry shows us. A man and woman talk about a relationship, and a woman hears all her doubts and insecurities and fear of boundaries and a man thinks about gas mileage and mechanics.
And finally, comedian Louis C.K. on the difference between men and women ... women will ruin your life... oh don't make me laugh. They'll ruin your life, sure, but they'll also feed you and sleep with you and shelter you from the storm, and put up with you while you do nothing.
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